He Cares.

GOD CARES ABOUT...

... WHAT YOU SAY. (EPHESIANS 4:29)

... WHAT YOU THINK. (1 PETER 5:7)

... YOUR ANGER. (JONAH 4)

… YOUR CALMNESS. (EXODUS 14:14)

... YOUR SADNESS & TEARS...[FULL POST]

The Weight of Guilt

A couple posts ago (Confessions of a Christian), I said, “One of the things that hold me back [from following Jesus] is the fear of being labeled that, “Hippy, on the fringe, organic, crazy ‘Jesus’ guy”…and the fear of…failing Jesus…” That kind of fear is a heavy burden to bear. As heavy as it is, it may not be nearly as heavy as the other reason I haven’t jumped head long into friendship with Jesus…Guilt.  (READ MORE...)

Love = Obedience = Sacrifice

A couple months ago I had a conversation with a friend about what was more important, obedience or sacrifice. The point I was making was obedience to God’s voice leads to the surrender (sacrifice) and giving away of one’s self. It’s our sacrifice which reveals our obedience. He said obedience to God’s voice is far more important than our sacrifice, to which I 100% agree. Without obedience, there is no sacrifice that glorifies God. When I look back at the story of Jesus in the garden and recount His prayer before His crucifixion. Although He struggled and agonized in prayer over God’s plan for salvation, He ultimately submitted Himself and said “not My will, but Yours be done”. Then He obediently followed God's plan and willingly sacrificed all of Himself. His obedience HAD to result in sacrifice. I think we were essentially arguing different sides of the same coin. Regardless, that conversation has been stuck in my head (and the text history in my phone) for a couple months now.

Fast forward to my quiet time this morning and I read: But Samuel replied, “What is more pleasing to the Lord: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to his voice? Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission is better than offering the fat of rams.” 1 Samuel 15:22

That’s all it took to spur a recounting of the above conversation and solidify how obedience and sacrifice fit together. Obedience is no doubt the measure of our maturity in Christ. You want to measure your "spiritual maturity"? Here's one question you can ask (this is not THE only measure): Do I obey God when He directs me? Obedience is no doubt how we measure our success in Christ. My church (Element Church in Cheyenne, WY) recently re-worded our core values. Our first core values reads: Obedience IS our success! - Our success will not be determined by outcome but by obedience to God. Obedience is the measure. Obedience is what matters to God.

Sacrifice should be a result of our obedience. That is not to say that people sacrifice things and think they are doing it to the glory of God. Sometimes we have our own preconceived notions as to what glorifies Him and we go to great lengths to do those things, regardless of whether they are disobedient to God (i.e. the case of Saul above). Those things are often our way of bolstering our ego making them the result of pride and intended to bring us recognition. This is far from obedience.

Jesus said, "If you love Me obey my commands." (John 14:15). Obedience is the result and evidence of our love. We obey because we love. Sometimes God will ask us to sacrifice something. Every time God will ask us to surrender ourselves and submit to Him. Our only response is obedience. In that regard, our sacrifice, our surrender, our submission should only be a result of our being obedient to God. Anything surrendered outside of obedience is chaff and doesn't matter because it doesn't glorify God.

Here's how it goes: Love = Obedience = Sacrifice.

Any other order doesn't add up the same.

Striving for obedience,
Bruce

A Weekend To Not Be Forgotten!

This past weekend my wife (Sarah – blog love HERE) and I took some time out and attended a marriage getaway. There are tons out there, but we opted for a Weekend to Remember, hosted by Family Life.

Let me just say… WOW!  (I would recommend any couple go.  No matter where you're at in marriage - healthy or unhealthy or how long you've been married - 6 days or 60 years, go.)

Sarah and I had never been to one, so we had zero idea of what to expect. With some apprehension we walked into the banquet room on that first night and everything was perfect. Ah, I’m just kidding. Walking out of that first session, it was obvious that Satan was on the prowl and wanted nothing more than the weekend to be a complete bust. But, regardless of the apprehension we walked in with, we also walked in hopeful. And that, that one thing is far more important than any doubt or apprehension that may creep in… hope. Hope in God and hope in each other. The weekend was far better than either of us could have anticipated. Over the last few days it has been and will continue to be the catalyst for great change in our marriage and family. During the last session the speaker asked people to share their “one big take away” for the weekend; that one thing that God challenged them on; the one thing that Jesus needs to change in them. That’s what this blog is, my take away.

Let me preface this with this point. Although Sarah and I love each other, marriage is hard. I would say that marriage is the hardest thing you’ll ever do, but it’s also one of the most amazing things you’ll ever do. The fact that both of us have a previous marriage and that we are a blended family bring challenges all their own. So this weekend was about reconnecting and refocusing. And man, what a weekend it was. After the first session I could tell something wasn’t sitting well with my bride. So I asked her, “What’s wrong?” Side note: when you ask that question you need to be willing to do two things: 1) actually LISTEN & 2) not be offended. So I asked and I listened. And for the first time in some months, we got to sit and actually hear each other. I heard my wife’s heart. It was an amazing, but difficult conversation. Here’s what I heard my bride say, “I need you to disciple me like you do other people. Only, I need you to disciple me first.” WOW, shot in the gut for sure.

If you know ANYTHING about me, you know I am about men’s discipleship. I am passionate about men being MEN and I’m the first to tell a guy what it takes to lead and reflect biblical manhood. But there I sat, in a hotel room in Colorado Springs, listening to my wife say that she felt 2nd to others in my life. And the worse part about it, it was true. Unknowingly, I had allowed my ministry of discipling others get in the way of my most important ministry and push out the one person that I am made to give to. The next morning, during my quiet time, I wandered through my journal and landed at the first entry I had written in it. It was the day that Sarah and I started dating and I wrote these two commitments: 1) Always protect Sarah’s heart & 2) Always give her more than I get from her. In my head and heart I know the importance of those commitments, but in practice, I’ve not done those well. That changed on Saturday, March 10, 2012. This weekend put a lot into perspective and provided a number of tools to start keeping those commitments she didn’t even know I made.

Here’s my take away: I need to take intentional steps to first disciple my wife and then disciple my children. Then, I can give to others.

It is so important for married men to realize that the first ministry they are called to serve in is their marriage. The bible tells us to love our wife as Christ loved the Church (Ephesians 5:25). That means give to her, sacrifice for her, protect her, nourish her, cherish her and build her up. When you look at all of that, it’s discipleship. And bonus, you get to add something to discipling your wife that you can’t (and shouldn’t want to) have in any other discipleship relationship: intimacy, passion and romance. When you give to her the way you’re made to, then discipleship of the rest of your family flows out of that. From this point on she’ll never again question here rank of importance in my life. As human relationships go, she is and will be first. I’m excited to be able to disciple the most important Jesus follower I know.

Making her first,
Bruce

My Love

I know it's been a while since my last "real" post, but things have been crazy, busy (especially with the holidays). In this post, being that my lovely bride just had her twenty-****th (it's close to 30 so I'm censoring it for the protection of her youthfulness), I'm going to brag on here for a bit. For the record, this is in no way prompted by the amazing blog she posted about me (HERE). I would have done it anyway; she just beat me to it.

Being that her actual birthday was on Monday, we celebrated it on last Saturday. It was such a fun night. I don't think we've had that many people in our house at one time since the last SHIFT event (shameless plug for the most awesome college ministry I know HERE), which was maybe New Years Eve 2010. In an attempt to make her birthday the best I could, we not only rocked a chocolate fountain, but also a Photo-booth (by the amazing Charity Remington Photography) and cupcake decorating (which I unsuspectingly provided as ammunition for cake-smashing into my lovely's face. she'll get revenge. It's already started, right Denae?) It was a night chocked full of friends, food and fun (I know, I know, cheesy. But, I'm going to be a pastor; alliteration is a key part to preaching, so I have to practice). But I digress, this isn't a blog about her party, it's about her. Not so coincidentally, this blog will probably follow a similar path and feel to the one she just posted. Mainly this is because we have a lot of the same things we love about each other.
Not all of us are lucky enough to marry our best friend. But as for me? I got to become friends with this amazing woman, that in the end. I couldn't live without. Here's my brag list. (and why I can't without her)

She loves Jesus. Did you expect the first one to be different? This is what binds us together. He is the foundation for where our marriage starts, everything it's about and where it's headed. Her love for Him is so evident and I love getting to see it lived out. I've joked that the main way the Holy Spirit speaks to me is through my wife, but the truth is God often really does use Sarah to speak to me (correct me, teach me & reveal truth). I think it's meant to be like that. The way she loves Jesus makes me want to seek Him more. The thing I love the most is that although we have our own personal relationships with Him, we get to share in a relationship with Him together. One of the best parts of my day is after work when we close our "reconnecting time" in prayer together.

She makes us her priority. After Jesus, her family is her first concern. She loves me and our boys fully and without reservation. With me, she makes sure we have time for each other. She also makes sure I have time for myself. With our boys, she's gentle with them and encourages them. Often time she brings calm and balance to the testosterone fueled chaos that is a house full of guys. She takes care of us and it's not a burden. When we got married I offered her the choice to stay home or work outside the house and she chose to make our house a home. and she does it quite well.

She trusts me. As much as I'm still figuring out how to lead my family well, she's confident in my ability. When I have doubts, she reminds me of why she has confidence in me. This is huge for me; it's the trust she has in me that builds my confidence to lead. I don't always do it right and I definitely don't do it perfect, but she maintains a faith in my leadership that encourages me. When I make a decision for our family, she trusts that I'm seeking and listening to God and that the decision I make, even if it doesn't make sense at the time, is what I feel is best for us. And she continues to trust me even when those decisions don't turn out the way I thought or intended.

She reminds me of who I am. This kind of goes with the previous one, but it's a little different. Sometimes I forget that I'm not the same guy I used to be. Sometimes the "who I was" tries to sneak his way into the "who I am". When that happens, it can be frustrating (to say the least). But I have this amazing woman that points me back to Jesus. She helps remind me who I am. And for the record she knows who I was. I've told her it all. I've shared details and stories with her that would make my parents cry. And none of it matters to her. She sees me for whom God has made me and introduces me to that guy anytime I need to reconnect with him. She also reminds me of who I'm called and desire to be. I've not hidden that fact that although I am full time active duty military, I'm not called to this. That's what I do for the time being, but this is only the mean time and preparation for what God has called me to. My wife reminds me of that frequently. Sometimes God uses a still, small voice to remind me of the big plans he has for us; sometimes that voice is my wife's.

She is creative and brilliant. This actually holds a lot of different meanings. It is her unmatched creativeness that has made our house into a cozy little home. I can't tell you the number of times people have said (something to the effect of), "Wow, Bruce. Being married has dramatically increased the attractiveness of your home. Sarah has done amazing work." Prior to marriage, decorating consisted of a picture hung on the wall. After marriage, decorating consists of hours poured over Pintrest for that one more decor idea that will make the house perfect. Here creativity doesn't stop with the house; she makes jewelry, is a photographer (I know. EVERY ONE'S wife is a "photographer" but mine is ACTUALLY really good.), can cook, writes and does the occasional voice over for Element Church promotional videos. OH and she is a fabulous clothing aficionado. The girl can dress. which adds to her smokin' hotness! She's also brilliant. She shines brighter than anyone I know. She is smart and witty and funny. She has a wisdom that never ceases to amaze. She often has the perfect words for the situation.

She's amazing and I'm luck and SO blessed to have her.

Oh, and her eyes. Oh those eyes. I get caught in them every time I look at her.

Happy Birthday, love.

Lazarus At Your Door!

First off, let me say that this is by NO means meant to call anyone out. This is 100% based on what I feel God has challenged ME with over the last few days. If you feel a twinge of conviction, it’s not me doing it. With that said, normally I don’t feel a need to defend or disclaimer stuff I say, but I felt it was important this time.

So the last few days Sarah and I have been presented with the task of helping one of her friends find a place to stay for a couple weeks, while she waits for her new apartment to become available. We’ve asked a couple of people and so far no luck. Keeping in mind that there are some absolutely valid reasons for not being able to accommodate her staying (i.e. accountability, etc…) and I’m not challenging any of them. Anyway, I was talking with my father-in-law about the difficulty of finding a place for her to stay and he brought up the parable of Lazarus at the rich man’s door. (Ftr, he’s a stinking smart guy. I’m really blessed to have him as a father-in-law. <--Heh, brownie points!) I’ve read that parable a number of times and have always read it as conveying the importance of listening to those that preach The Truth of God (that being that Jesus died to save us from our sin and reunite us with God). I’ve always read it as a warning to “listen AND act now, because later is too late.”

There are so many different commentaries as to why this parable is important and what Jesus meant by it, but as I talked it out with my father-in-law, it hit me a different way (mainly because he presented it differently). He pointed out that Lazarus, a poor man who was covered in sores (v. 20), lay in a place that the rich man had to pass routinely (probably multiple times) throughout the day. What’s significant about that fact is that the rich man never noticed him, never once offered to help, and never gave a second thought to him. That is until they sat across from each other, staring over the chasm of eternity. Then the rich man noticed Lazarus. I'm not going to speculate as to what the rich man's sin was that landed him on the far side of eternity, separated from his God. But, by his own request for Abraham to send Lazarus to “warn” his five brothers, Jesus makes the point that the rich man refused to listen to the teachings of Moses and the prophets. So where does that leave us as it applies to our Lazaruses and listening to what Jesus taught? Here's some of what He said:

On loving each other: So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. - John 13:34

On serving others: “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’ - Matthew 25:40

On our status among others (and serving): And since I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each others' feet. I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you. I tell you the truth, slaves are not greater than their master. Nor is the messenger more important than the one who sends the message. Now that you know these things, God will bless you for doing them. - John 13:14-17

Here it is. We are called to love and serve others. Even when (and I'd add especially if) it is uncomfortable for us. To truly be love and community for others, we have to give generously and sacrificially. That's where Jesus lives. We say we follow Jesus then refuse the ones He loves. I follow a God that, in human form, lowered Himself to that of a low servant and washed His disciples' feet. Who hung out with the least of these and loved them. Who told us point blank that He came for the lost, broken and hurting. If that's the Jesus we follow, why do we make excuses and choose not to actually follow His example?  How do people that don't know Jesus experience His love?  Through US loving them with the love He gave us.

Even as I type this I am challenged with the excuses that I had for not reaching out and we (Sarah and I) are going to remedy that tonight.

Opening the door to my Lazaruses,

Bruce

It Was Always Her!

Originally this blog was meant to chronicle what God was doing in me as He walked me in a New Direction for my life. Eventually it morphed into what God was teaching me largely related to ministry & leadership. Today I’m moving back toward what God is doing in my life.

Today…I write about HER!!!!

She is an amazing soul. First and foremost, she loves God; she has a deeply intimate relationship with Jesus and her anointing by the Holy Spirit is readily apparent. Her heart for people is incredible; she extends grace the way that God gives it to her. She is creatively brilliant; she writes (if you want a peek into her psyche check out her blog Daily Offensive…she signs her posts with a heart), she makes jewelry, she’s a photographer, and has an amazing eye for art (I’m pretty sure her brain operates in art mode most times). She has the best sense of humor (she gets my sense of humor so that may not be saying much), a laugh that’s SO infectious, the best Eeeeee!!! ever, and she’s an amazing mom. She is also absolutely gorgeous; she has THE most captivating eyes I’ve ever set mine on and that smile…oh that smile, it melts me every time.
 
Most call her Sarah, a few call her Sarahface, one handsome little boy calls her mama, but I…I call her My Love.
 
When I was involuntarily thrust back into singleness (about 2 ½ years ago) I sat down and made a list. This list was the collection of needs and wants I would hope for in the next woman that God brought into my life. Once compiled, I set it aside and surrendered to the workings of God in my life. He quickly made clear that what I needed and wanted in a wife was second to what He needed and wanted in my life and what would be expected of me as a husband and father
 
Over the next two years God transformed everything, from the way I lived my life, what I believed and the way my heart and mind work. (I won’t go too deep into what God has done, but if you’re curious, here are a couple blogs that review the two years – Year One & Year Two.) So that list lay dormant for two years while God worked me over. During that time I met this sparkly eyed woman that had just accepted a position as the Executive Assistant at Element Church. I met My Love in early June 2010. At that time God was in the middle of a particularly rough working over of my heart, so I met Sarah and thought nothing more of her than a new co-worker.
 
As the months progressed, so did our friendship. I started to realize the amount we had in common was not only ridiculous, but almost unreal. Round about September I had finally surrendered to God on some ministry decisions I had been struggling with (i.e. resisting God’s call to). Almost the minute I surrendered that stuff to God I was hit with this overwhelming NEED (not want…that was there too, but this was definitely a need) to be with Sarah. I needed to be in her life, to serve her and love her. At the time I actually prayed against those feelings. I didn’t want to be disappointed and didn't want to step out before it was full of God. Eventually I surrendered those feelings to God and embraced them quietly because it wasn’t time yet. So, nothing was ever said. We never discussed it, I never shared it. Our friendship sat as it was and would continue to grow.
 
Then in mid-October I had the honor of escorting a friend to his final resting place in Pennsylvania. For months prior to his passing I would sit in his hospital room and watch as his wife just sat there. Helpless, scared and frustrated she just sat there. To me, her willingness to just sit with him, as he lay dying, was the greatest display of love I’d ever seen. Her willingness to just sit with the one she loved, just so that he knew she loved him, pierced my heart. It was then, in a hospital room in Denver, that my need to be with Sarah turned into the realization that I would sit there for her. All of the sudden I knew that I loved her, that I would just sit and BE there for her and that I wouldn’t want anyone but her sitting at my bedside. I knew then that I was going to marry her. But alas, it still wasn’t time. Nothing was said and our friendship would remain just that for another couple months.
 

By the end of December I couldn’t not be with her anymore, so my friend Sarah became My Love. So where are we now? We’re ENGAGED! I know what you’re thinking, “What? You haven’t even dated THAT long!” Ultimately the time doesn’t matter. If I hadn’t sought God on this over and over, this post wouldn’t even have been typed. But I have and it’s right for us. She’s my best friend. We’ve built an amazing relationship as friends first, we’re cut from the same cloth and I love her more than I can ever promise her. And what of my list…in Sarah, God has fulfilled every need and want that I voiced on my list, every one that went unspoken for fear that I was expecting too much and every one that I didn’t think or know to ask for.

Both Sarah and I know that marriage isn’t all rainbows and unicorns. We’ve both been there and fully realize the work it requires. We also know the power of Christ in us and in our relationship. Our success in marriage fully rests in our submission to Him first, then each other and in that…we’re gonna make it Till the End! (Plug for Pastor Adam - Blog & Album. FTR, he’s been amazing accountability for me through this.)

 
So Blessed,
Bruce

REPOST: Hurt People, Hurt People. Loved People, Love People. (HPHP/LPLP - Part 5)

Here is the final blog in the 5 Part Series. The first 4 can be seen here (Pt. 1, Pt. 2, Pt. 3, & Pt. 4). This is a repost of the original posted on July 8, 2010. I wrote it initially as a stand alone post, but there was so much more to this (hence posts 1 through 4). So this is the precursor & culmination of this series...enjoy.

I was listening to a song by Manafest called "Wanna Know You" and there is a line in the second verse that really got me. It says, "Loved people, love people. Hurt people, hurt people." I recently read a book (for one of my counseling classes) by Dr. Sandra Wilson called, "Hurt People, Hurt People." It was about understanding why people that have been hurt continue to hurt others.

With that and for the last six months God has been really working on me about what it means to love people and ultimately Him. So that line in the song really struck me as something that is important for everyone that claims to follow Christ to understand.

Hurt People, Hurt People

I'm not actually gonna say anything about why or how hurt people, hurt people. I am, however, gonna direct this toward those that have accepted Christ's love (the secret is - and it's actually not a secret - Christ loves us all, all the time...we just need to accept it).

I get SO tired of hearing how Christ's people are "done" with someone because they hurt them while they were "trying to love them." News flash...people that are hurt are not there to love you, it's the other way around.

Here's the thing, in going in to love someone that is hurting, you have to expect some resistance. You have to expect them to be somewhat leery of your intentions, because they were just hurt. People that are hurt or hurting are that way because someone they cared for either left them (whether it be intentionally i.e. divorce/break-up or unintentionally i.e. death), betrayed them or broke their trust some how. So you have to understand that they may not be so readily accepting of what you want to give them.

We are called to love people, to comfort the hurting and even pray for those that persecute us. If you are the recipient of Christ's amazing love, you have a responsibility to give it away to others and you have to understand that in trying to love them, you may get hurt. My friend, Grant Clark, has a saying that goes, "Where there's people, there's poop." The idea being that caring for people can get messy and if you are actually engaged in their lives, you WILL get messy.

On the other side of that coin...

Loved People, Love People

If you are a person that has surrendered your life to God and seeks to follow Christ, this is you. If you are actively engaged in a relationship with Christ, in which He is pouring out His love on you, you will love people. In John 15:12 Jesus says, "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." Jesus was telling us that the way He loved us was an example of how He expected us to love each other. If you are truly the recipient of Christ's love, you WILL love others.

The Bible is very clear on this point. 1 John 4:20-21 says:

If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their Christian brothers and sisters.

So, loved people, love people.

I'll close with this...How badly did we hurt Christ (and still do at times) while He was trying to love us? What if He would have given up on us because He got hurt?

I Will Love Regardless,
Bruce

Hurt People, Hurt People. (HPHP/LPLP - Part 2)

So here is Part 3, which is actually Part 2 of the 5 Part series on Loved People, Love People. Hurt People, Hurt People. You can read Part 1, which is actually Part 5 (HERE) and Part 2, which is actually Part 1 (HERE). Now that you’re thoroughly confused…we can start.

Just to preface this, hurt people, hurt people, in that people that hurt people are generally hurting themselves. Obviously I am not a counselor, but I’ve done some study on this. I don’t plan on going into the deep psychological aspect of this idea, and I’ll only mention why this happens briefly, the rest of the post will be focused on what this means to those that aren’t hurting.

So the verse that, for me, confirms that hurt people, hurt people is Proverbs 10:12a. The NLT says, “Hatred stirs up quarrels” or as the MSG says, “Hatred starts fights.” The concept being that those that hate are going to cause dissension among others. So it should follow that those that are sad, bring a spirit of sadness with them (we have all been there when we’re having a good time and someone that is locked in this sadness shows up and it changes the whole spirit of the room), anger begets anger and so on.

Now, I don’t want to speculate as to why any of this is the way it is, because I’m sure there are many reasons. I suppose that some are comfortable functioning in environments that are unsettled, some may figure that others should feel what they do or need others to relate to them, and some may not even realize their behavior causes others to hurt. What I do know is this: There is a world of hurting people and a lot of them don’t see any hope for a life different that what they have.

My frustration in this comes when others, namely Christians that are called to LOVE others, say things like, “I tried to love them, but I just can’t, they’re too hard to love.” This is a cop out. Here’s the essential understanding that needs to be had about hurt people: THEY…ARE…HURTING. Hurt people are by definition hurting. Often times, especially if they’re trapped in that hurt; they cause others to become hurt. And sometimes the people they may hurt are the same people that are trying to love the hurting person through that hurt.

When dealing with a hurting person, there is potential for them to lash out at you, maybe turn their anger on you and maybe, quite intentionally, seek to hurt you. They may seek to belittle and criticize your attempts at love, but the Bible says, “Bless those who persecute you. Don't curse them; pray that God will bless them.” Romans 12:14

Now, I’m not saying to let them humiliate you and walk all over you, even though Jesus did… But, far too often it is convenient and easy to walk away from some one that is in desperate need of the love of Christ that you already possess and have been commanded to share. They are looking for the cure all, we have it, and their “hurt attitude” is too much for us to bare. In a word that’s…Crap!

Here’s the bottom line: Part of the nature of hurting people is that they are going to do things, either intentionally or inadvertently, that hurt others and sometimes it might be the person that is trying to love them. But that doesn’t matter. We are called to the hurting. We are called to love them and bring them the love that surpasses all understanding and is the source of all comfort. We don’t have to have all the answers or solutions to their problems…that’s not our job, we’re not their Savior. Sometimes we just have to be willing to “Be” with them. Sometimes that's the love they need, but the point is, they need you.

In Him,
Bruce

Year Two...

So it’s been two years since that fateful day. That day that turned my world literally upside down. This is the two year anniversary (can I call it that) of my awakening. I say it like that only because had things not happened that way, I’m not sure what it would have taken for God to get my attention…I shudder to think.

So where am I now? I’m in a far different place than last year, to say the least. First and foremost, I don’t teach in Elevate (Element Church’s 1st through 5th grade students) anymore. I do miss them so, sometimes. Then I peak my head in on a Sunday morning and remember why I’m not called to children’s ministry. God bless Pastor Derek… (BLOG)

Shortly after the last post, at the end of October 2009, my divorce finalized. At first I thought I was free and released. Then God started stirring my heart for something I really couldn’t define. In February God made it painfully clear that He desired reconciliation between my ex-wife and I and that He was capable of restoring us. If I’m honest, at the time I wanted NOTHING to do with it, but because I desired to be in God’s will, I began praying for reconciliation and in short order God birthed in my heart a deep desire for reconciliation.

Around that same time, Curtis Marshall, theSHIFT Pastor at that time, was scheduled to move to New Mexico. So theSHIFT was facing a slightly uncertain future with no actual leader in sight. Sure we had the roundTABLE in place, but that couldn’t sustain forever. Soon after giving me the desire for reconciliation, I felt God saying that I was supposed to talk to Curtis about leading theSHIFT and unbeknownst to me, God was telling Curtis the same thing. So Curtis and the Element Lead team talked, then he and I talked and viola…this past Easter I was officially announced as theSHIFT Interim Director. (Since then, I’ve been told the Interim part has been dropped…I love that God lets me be a part of this.)

Over the next few months there were moments that my ex-wife would contact me and my anticipation for reconciliation grew, but it never panned out. At the time she was living in Casper, WY, but moved back to Cheyenne in the beginning of June. Shortly after that, I began to feel this disconnect from the deep burden (and yes I mean it that way, my heart was burdened by it; lots of sleepless night and sick feelings) and desire for reconciliation. I think at the time it was essential that my heart be devoted to what God was calling me to in my personal life for me to lead theSHIFT well. The months went on and I felt as if I was in this “waiting” pattern. I had made it known to my ex-wife that God could fix anything and really it was on her shoulders. I prayed EVERY single day and night for God to get her heart and for His will to be done in reconciling us. I wish I could say that a miracle happened and God got her heart and reconciled us, but that’s not what happened. On August 27th my ex-wife married the man she’s been living with for the last two years.

But here’s the thing on that. Understand THIS…God did NOT fail me. He was and is still faithful, He still desired it, and I was obedient to what He called me to. He is my portion, He is enough and He is my prize. Just because my ex-wife rejected reconciliation, doesn’t mean God abandoned me in that desire. He grew me into the man He needed me to be through that and fulfilled His promise to sustain me. He is still God and He is still Good.

So, in that time here’s what happened. Even though I had already forgiven my ex-wife, I really got the opportunity to release her from any residual anger I had held on to. I got to confess absolutely everything to her and ask her forgiveness. I got to help and bless her a few times, which was often quite humbling. I got to tell her, then boyfriend, I forgave him for his part in what had happened (also quite humbling). And I got to look at my responsibility in the whole mess, accept it and hand it to Jesus (also humbling, but so freeing). Through all of that, God has allowed me to lead this AMAZING, out of control awesome, group of people called theSHIFT (BLOG). I have a team that rivals any team I’ve ever seen (they’re ALL volunteers and they pour every ounce of their heart into what God has called them to). I love them and am so lucky to serve in ministry with them. Oh, I’ve completed 8 of my 15 classes for my Master of Arts in Religion, but I’m taking the next school year off to focus on my boys and ministry. There are other things coming down the pipe that I won’t share quite yet, but I’m so excited for them.

Although I learned a boat load of stuff, there are two things I want to focus on.

1. Last year I said, “Obedience is the axis on which everything in God spins.” and quoted John 14:15 in which Jesus says, "If you love me, obey my commandments.” I WAS WRONG! The key to that verse is not “obey my commands,” but “If you love me.” Here’s the way it should have read last year…”Love is the axis on which everything in God spins and the foundation on which everything in Christ is built.” Obedience, like everything else, is simply a byproduct, a result of our love for Jesus. It’s also the action that proves what you say. If you truly love Jesus, everything you do will teem with the obviousness of that love. It will permeate every part of everything you are, have and do. He just wants to love you and have you love Him back.

2. Ministry is NOT about you. And more than that, your relationship with Christ (while there is a selfish part that you must be concerned with) is not about you either. I’m in the middle of a series on this subject so I won’t go too far into it, but Christ pours His love out on you so that it will flow though you (had a great conversation with Thomas BLOG about this) out to others. He loves you and expects that with the love you receive, you will love who He loves…which is everyone else. So many times he said, you feed them, love others, love each other, and take care of my sheep. He wants you to give to others, to serve them, to die to yourself and BE for others. He did. I’ll save the rest of this for another blog.

All in all it’s been an amazing year. Didn’t see most of any of that coming and wouldn’t have been able to plan it better (God saw it though). I’m excited for the year to come and the year after that more (I separate from the military that year – 2012…if the world doesn’t end, heh!).

So Stoked,
Bruce

You Don't Get to Choose

I also posted this on theSHIFT Insider (HERE).


The last few weeks at theSHIFT we’ve been in a series called Back to the Basics. The series is focused on the most basic and important command that Jesus gives (that being Luke 10:27 - Love the Lord your God and Love your neighbor). Steven Frausto (BLOG) is leading the series and will write a series reCAP blog, so I don't want to take away from that by going too deep into it, but I wanted to address one specific thing that we talked about this past Sunday.


The topic was “Loving Each Other Through the Holy Spirit.” We got into a lot of great discussion about what that means and what it looks like to worship in spirit and in truth, but one of the most poignant moments of the discussion (for me) revolved around 2 Corinthians 5:14-15 in the context of loving other. It says:

"For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again."

While studying for this lesson the word that hit me was “compels.” I was pretty sure I knew what it meant, but looked it up anyway. It means “to force to a course of action.” Then I started thinking, “So Christ's love forces us to do stuff.” So I looked up “force,” which means, “power to influence, affect, or control.”


When we accept and have Christ's love it powerfully influences us to a course of action...that being to love and serve others. It doesn't just force you into an action, but actually changes who you are at your very core. It no longer becomes a matter of what you should do, but what you ought to do. It becomes who YOU are, or rather who CHRIST is in you. If Christ lives in you, you have no choice in the matter, you WILL be a new person. Romans 5:17 says,

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

That transformation can only come from Christ in you and only when you choose to submit to Him. So with all that said I can get to the real point...Christ replaces you. He destroys who YOU were and replaces it with who He is.


One of those ways of submitting to Christ is through prayer. There is a TON that can be said about prayer and I'm not gonna even scratch the surface of it. But since we're talking about loving others, prayer is a huge part of that. Prayer is one of the ways that we can lay aside our desires and seek those of God.


I’m going to confess something and it may make people gasp in disbelief, but understand this…I’m a flawed and fallen man (just like everyone else), constantly in need of God’s grace and mercy and through my daily seeking of Christ He makes me the righteousness of God (2 Cor 5:21) and causes me to look more like Him. So here it is…I don’t always like everyone. There are some people; they have even been in theSHIFT, that I’ve thought, “Man I do not like that person. I wish they would leave.” With that said I know that’s not ok and I seek God to change that in me daily.


BUT…EVERY time I’ve felt like that (and some took longer than others), because I love Christ and I desire to love His people, I didn’t just let those feelings settle. Instead, I would seek God on it, ask Him to reveal the deeper issue, pray that God would lead me through it, sought wise counsel from those in authority over me and those close to me, and then I would go to that person. But I would go to them in love, not to attack them. Here’s what I found…through all that God didn’t change the other person, He changed me. He changed my heart for the person, exposed my short comings as they related to that particular person and changed the way I saw that person. Every time I sought God (with the right motives and truly seeking His heart) I changed, not the other person


Here’s the bottom line: Some of those people are still doing the same junk that annoyed me before, but that’s not for me to be concerned with and really it doesn’t bother me anymore. My concern is that there are things that God still needs to change in my heart. Because I love God and I desire His heart, I submit myself to Him and allow Him to replace me. In submitting to Christ and seeking His character, the Holy Spirit changes you and you start seeing people as God sees them: as the object of His affection and love. If you submit to Christ and accept His love, you will be compelled to love others the same way He loves you…you WON’T have a choice.


Glad I don’t get to choose,
Bruce

Somebody To Love?

This post is kind of a follow up to my last post, Loved People (HERE). Not really intended to be a part two, but more of a continuation. I've been thinking a lot about the whole "Loved People, Love People. Hurt People, Hurt People" idea lately.

Without argument, as I'm sure many would agree, that trying to show love to someone that either doesn't care or blatantly rejects it, is often very difficult...who talks like that, it outright SUCKS. So recently I found myself wrestling with that idea and actually said out loud to God, "This is hard. I just want to love someone that will reciprocate that love!" God's response to my heart was, "Me too." Ouch...straight punch to the face. That's when He started speaking this idea of loving without expectation to me (He spoke it through a friend). The intent being that you love people without any expectation of them. Not that they'll love you back, not that they'll be grateful, not even that they'll come to Christ. In fact, not only do you love them regardless, but we should expect to be rejected or hurt, at least in the beginning.

So then I started working on theVISION series for theSHIFT (website HERE). We’re talking about: Who We Are, What We Do and Why, When God Calls-How to Answer and Where We’re Called To. In preparing for this series, God keeps bringing me back to this unexpectant love idea. This week we talked about “What We Do and Why” and God broke my heart, like His does every day, for His people.

Without going too far into detail, here’s the jist of what we talked about.

God has called theSHIFT to do three things for the college/20 something in Cheyenne (Laramie County), WY.

They are:

1. To connect with them where they’re at in life.
2. To provide a community of acceptance, where love is experienced.
3. To challenge them to grow.

After that I really struggled to put to words why we do what we do and this is what God revealed (again, three reasons).

1. We love them.
2. We’re called to it.
3. We see a need.

Reason # 3 (above) is what broke my heart. In researching the need for Christ in this area I came across a 2007 report that listed Wyoming #4 in the US (we moved from #1 in 2006) for suicides. Of those, about 10 percent were between the ages of 15 to 24. Aside from that I poured over report after report that talked about hundreds of thousands of college age adults that (self admittedly) drink enough to be diagnosed as alcohol abusers, almost half a million that routinely have unprotected sex (a quarter of which were too intoxicated to remember if the even consented), and identified nearly 2,000 that die in unintentional alcohol related accidents every year. I also read a report that 76% of college age adults admit that they are looking for meaning and purpose in life.

Here’s the truth, 76% of college age adults are searching for meaning and when they don’t find it, they turn to drinking, sex, and some of them give up looking and end it. They are hurting each other, hurting themselves and they are literally DYING for what we have! We CANNOT and will NOT keep Christ to ourselves! That is what we are ALL called to…to share the love that Christ has poured out on us without exception or expectation.  You want somebody to love?  Look around...they're right next to you.

Hurt People, Hurt People. Loved People, Love People. (HPHP/LPLP - Part 5)

So I haven't blogged in what seems like forever. And the last time I did blog, I was on this "community" kick and had a series of 5 blogs that revolved around what community is supposed to be. I am still on that kick and still intend to write those blogs, so soon I hope.

With that said I had to make time to write this one.

I was listening to a song by Manafest called "Wanna Know You" and there is a line in the second verse that really got me. It says, "Loved people, love people. Hurt people, hurt people." I recently read a book (for one of my counseling classes) by Dr. Sandra Wilson called, "Hurt People, Hurt People." It was about understanding why people that have been hurt continue to hurt others.

With that and for the last six months God has been really working on me about what it means to love people and ultimately Him. So that line in the song really struck me as something that is important for everyone that claims to follow Christ to understand.

Hurt People, Hurt People

I'm not actually gonna say anything about why or how hurt people, hurt people. I am, however, gonna direct this toward those that have accepted Christ's love (the secret is - and it's actually not a secret - Christ loves us all, all the time...we just need to accept it).

I get SO tired of hearing how Christ's people are "done" with someone because they hurt them while they were "trying to love them." News flash...people that are hurt are not there to love you, it's the other way around.

Here's the thing, in going in to love someone that is hurting, you have to expect some resistance. You have to expect them to be somewhat leery of your intentions, because they were just hurt. People that are hurt or hurting are that way because someone they cared for either left them (whether it be intentionally i.e. divorce/break-up or unintentionally i.e. death), betrayed them or broke their trust some how. So you have to understand that they may not be so readily accepting of what you want to give them.

We are called to love people, to comfort the hurting and even pray for those that persecute us. If you are the recipient of Christ's amazing love, you have a responsibility to give it away to others and you have to understand that in trying to love them, you may get hurt. My friend, Grant Clark, has a saying that goes, "Where there's people, there's poop." The idea being that caring for people can get messy and if you are actually engaged in their lives, you WILL get messy.

On the other side of that coin...

Loved People, Love People

If you are a person that has surrendered your life to God and seeks to follow Christ, this is you. If you are actively engaged in a relationship with Christ, in which He is pouring out His love on you, you will love people. In John 15:12 Jesus says, "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." Jesus was telling us that the way He loved us was an example of how He expected us to love each other. If you are truly the recipient of Christ's love, you WILL love others.

The Bible is very clear on this point. 1 John 4:20-21 says:

If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their Christian brothers and sisters.

So, loved people, love people.

I'll close with this...How badly did we hurt Christ (and still do at times) while He was trying to love us? What if He would have given up on us because He got hurt?

I Will Love Regardless,

Bruce

commUNITY: Love

Lately God has really challenged me to look at how I love Him, specifically what the outpouring of that love looks like. Through that I found myself kind of lost on how I actually show God my love. God's question was completely rhetorical and He eventually showed me that we are to show our love for Him by pouring it out on His people. Essentially, if we love God, we'll love the ones He loves (basically that's everyone else). He clarified through a number of ways (my devotional time, my youngest son) and I was able to flesh that out in a few previous posts. (My Son the Teacher & You Feed Them)

After clarifying the loving Him part, God started moving me toward what it means to love well and what forum is required for real, genuine love to exist. At theSHIFT we have a set of core values that revolve around four "Cs". They are Connection, Community, Challenge and Christ (my friend Thomas [BLOG love] has a great article on this if he'd ever post it). With that said I knew that community was important, but God began to show me just how important it is to this love relationship is. The idea is that when you connect people to each other and Christ, they begin to develop community with each other and Christ. Within community is where love, fellowship, accountability, worship, sacrifice and service to others occur. When that happens, Christ begins to challenge you to a place where you want to connect more people with Him. Then the cycle continues.

So, this post is meant to talk about community (there will probably be a few of them). I think the first thing that is important to get about community is that it's not just a place to hang out. Gospel community is a place where people that love each other, live openly with each other. They are honest and transparent within their community. They care about decisions others make and offer wise council and accountability. They gently, lovingly and firmly call each other out when one is engaged in sinful behavior. They worship, pray and fellowship together. They provide for each other generously and without grumbling. They don't backbite or seek to hurt others.

The key to community is love. Love is the foundation for everything. Christ identified two commandments in Luke 10:27, "You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind. And, Love your neighbor as yourself." Jesus reiterated the need for love within community in John 13:34-35, which reads, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." If you want to really know what community is supposed to look like, read 1 Corinthians 13:1-8, that's love and that's community. The New Testament is filled with places that the Apostles tell various churches what it means to live in community with each other and all of them say to love each other. In Galatians 5:14-15 Paul says, “The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.” In 1 Peter 3:8 Peter says, “Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.” And in 1 John 2:10, John says, “Anyone who loves another brother or sister is living in the light and does not cause others to stumble.”

The point is this: Love is what community is built on. If anyone says they are a part of a community and does not display the action of love, they are a liar and are only there to under mind what Christ is building. Once community is developed and love flows outward from it, everything else comes naturally; accountability, servant-hood, fellowship, worship, and sacrifice.

The last thing I'll say about love within community is this:  the love within community should also draw and invite others in. The lost, unloved, unloveable and hurting should be attracted to community as a place where they will be accepted and loved. If people from the outside see your “community” and see jealousy, back-biting, gossip, selfishness, distrust and bitterness, they're gone. They won't come near you. That isn't community, that's the same thing that others, in the world, are trying to escape from. People should be able to find refuge, not refuse, in Christ's church.

My Son the Teacher

This kind of goes along my post from the other day, You Feed Them, but it's been the thing that God has been trying to get across to me.

A few day ago my youngest son, Andrew, told me about a kid in his class that is so desperate for friends that he brought $100 in $20 bills and began handing them out to other kids to be his friend.  I asked my son if he took it, he said no and that all the money was retrieved, the Dad was called and given the money.  But I asked Andrew why couldn't he just be the kids friend and he said, "Well, I tried but all he does is walk around the playground.  He won't play anything."  So I said, "Maybe you could just walk with him.  Then once he sees you're willing to just do that and really be his friend, then maybe he'll play." Andrew replied, "Yeah, I don't have to play all the time.  I could just walk with him."

The thing is, that's all people want.  They want you to walk with them.  As The Church it isn't our job to wait for people to come to us, nor is it our job to drag people to where we want them or think they should be.  People want us to walk with them and we have to be willing to go to where they are and just be with them.  Once they see that our agenda involves no other item then to love them, then they will trust that we actually love and care about them.  We are called to bring Christ and be Christ to them.  Jesus told us to seek out the lost sheep and bring them home, but he wasn't saying to just make sure they made it through the church doors.  He also told us to care for and feed His sheep and that must be done where they're at.  If people don't recognize His voice, they won't follow Him. It's our job to introduce Him to them, where they are at, so they begin to recognize and find comfort in His voice.  Then, and only then, will they follow us to the foot of His throne.  If we know the way, we HAVE to share it with others and that can only be done through loving them to Christ.  As Christ walks with us, so we should walk with them.  They just want you to walk with them.  Will you?

He's the Same!

Last week I was in a class and there was some scripture that was presented. One was from the the Koran and the other was from the Old Testament of the Bible. The question was presented as to whether they were scripture from the same God. The argument was that the verse from the Koran was very similar in feeling as many Old Testament Bible verses. The verse from the Koran spoke of the wrath of God being poured out and read something like Jeremiah 25:31 which says,

“His cry of judgment will reach the ends of the earth, for the Lord will bring his case against all the nations. He will judge all the people of the earth, slaughtering the wicked with the sword. I, the Lord, have spoken!”

The Old Testament verse is unimportant, except that it dealt with God's love. The comment was made about the belief that the Old Testament is the portrayal of God's wrath, anger and justice and the New Testament is the portrayal of God's love and mercy. First let me put out there that the God of the Bible and the God of any other religion are not the same. Without accepting Jesus Christ as God, it cannot be God. With that said, I get so frustrated with the theory that the Old Testament holds one half God's character and the New Testament hold the other half. If you read the Bible, I mean really seek God in it, you cannot miss the fact that God is the same from Genesis to Revelation.

Yes the Old Testament is a reflection of God's wrath, justice and anger, but it is also riddled with God's true desire to be Israel's God and to pour out His love and mercy on them. So many times throughout the OT God pleads with His people to return to Him, so many times He promises to restore them, so many times He gives them the chance to turn from their evil ways. So many times He says stuff like “I - yes, I alone - will blot out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again.” Isaiah 43:25 or “And you will live in Israel, the land I gave your ancestors long ago. You will be my people, and I will be your God.” Ezekiel 36:28. These are undoubtedly signs of God's love and mercy.

On the other side of that, the NT is a reflection of God's love and mercy, but the NT also holds the greatest display of God's wrath and justice. Read about the crucifixion in any of the four Gospels (Matt 27:34-44, Mark 15:21-32, Luke 23:26-43 or John 19:16b-27), and you'll see God's wrath poured out. But you'll notice that His wrath was not poured out on His people. Instead it was poured out on His son, Jesus Christ. Romans 3:24-26 says,

Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. This sacrifice shows that God was being fair when he held back and did not punish those who sinned in times past, for he was looking ahead and including them in what he would do in this present time. God did this to demonstrate his righteousness, for he himself is fair and just, and he declares sinners to be right in his sight when they believe in Jesus.

Here's the bottom line...the OT and NT are not two halves of the same God. God is unchanging throughout the Bible. He continually displays a desire to love and restore us to Him, and yes some times that means He disciplined His people (sometimes pretty harshly), and He still does today. But the difference is this, He saved up His greatest outpouring of wrath and justice for that moment when His son hung on that cross, beaten, bruised and broken. He withheld the full force of His wrath from us, knowing we were not capable of baring it and instead poured it out on the most precious part of Himself. And He did it for no other reason than because He loves us. That's it...He Love Us!

Knowing He's the Same,
Bruce

Love Him, Love Him, Love Him

Just want to preface this by saying this will be a blog of quotes, for the simple reason that they all fit together so beautifully.

I just recently read Gene Edwards' book, The Divine Romance. First let me say...AMAZING book. This book will challenge everything you think you know about how and how much God loves you and will turn on it's ear the feeble understanding you have about what it means to love God back.

The book is written as a play and is told mainly from the view point of the angels. One of the most impacting moments in the book, for me anyway, is after God meets with Moses on Mt. Sinai and tell him that He will be Israel's God and they will be His people. He tell Moses to tell His people that the ONLY thing He requires of them is that they love Him. Later God walks through the Israelite camp and overhears people talking about how they will give their money and obedience to God, and how the will worship, praise and serve Him. God let's out a groan of sorrow and says,

“I did not require of you
your wealth nor coins of gold.
What need have I of these?
I did not ask of you
that you serve me.
Do I, the Mighty One,
need to be waited upon?
Neither did I ask you
your worship nor your prayers
nor even your obedience.”


“I have asked but this of you,
that you love me...
love me...
love me...”

So that was the beginning of my wrecking. I began to ask how and started trying to figure out God's love and what that exchange should look like. I knew God wanted our love, but to consider that fact that everything else is unimportant, even prayer, was crazy to me.

After The Divine Romance, I read a book by Brennan Manning called The Furious Longing of God. I bought them at the same time and little did I know it would be a great follow up book. It gives a very real and applicable approach to what God's love looks like in our life and how to reflect His love. (Let me throw a disclaimer out...I don't depend on Christian books for my understanding of the things of God, I read my Bible everyday and that is my sole source of truth.)

With that said, Manning, in speaking of God's love, warns us “to stay alert and aware, especially of God smiling at our silliness.”

Just prior to that he quotes, Ephesians 3:17-19 which says,

“Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” This confused me, because if we “have the power to fully understand” then how is it “too great to understand”?

Here's what I think it is, one of the things that God thinks is silly and smiles at us about is our attempts to not only beautify His love with our words, but also our attempts to make it understandable. The truth is, nothing we can say can convey the beauty or depth of God's love. What it ends up being is that we are but silly little children running around trying to learn the unlearnable things of God. God simply wants us to be still and know His love, but not in the intellectual/cognitive sense, but know it in a way that we experience it. Edwards says that while God loves us continually, He wants us to love Him with, abandoned, innocent, unbridled passion.”

The bottom line is that God wants nothing more than our love. The other stuff flows out of that love. Our worship, obedience, prayer, tithe should all be byproducts of our intense love for Him, not our obligation to Him. Just as Eve was built out of Adam's side to be his counterpart and reflect his love back to him, we, as The Church, are built out of God's side and made to be His counterpart and reflect his love back to Him. So how do we do it? First through spending time with Him. Consumption of His word (that 66 book love letter He wrote YOU called the Bible) and prayer are how you spend time with Him. The other is through loving others. The great commandment...Love you God, with all you heart, soul, mind and strength and love you neighbor as yourself. That means spending time with and loving other believers in gospel community. Jesus did say, “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” ~ John 13:34-35

I love Him,
Bruce

Give It Up!

In today’s society, “Give it up” can mean a couple different things. It can mean, “don’t even bother embarrassing yourself by trying”, as in when I attempt to play any kind of sport, even ping pong (if that can be considered a sport). Or it can be used to arouse cheers from a group, as in “Give it up for the greatest quarterback in NFL history, Brett Farve.” But I’m not talking about those uses. I’m talking about giving it up for Christ. Not like cheering for him, although that is ALWAYS welcomed, but giving up that thing that you may have held onto or put before Him.

Lately God has bombarded me with that question, “Bruce, what are you willing to give up to follow me?” The first time it came up was in a blog by Morgan Clark, can be read HERE, (Element’s Small Group Pastor’s, Grant Clark, son). He talks about God asking him if he would give up music to follow him. As he writes in his blog, “For me it was extremely tough. I’m not going to lie. I’m not sure right now. I think I could, but….” Didn’t really lend too much thought to it. Thought it was a great point, but wasn’t one of those soul shaking things…at the time.
Then, Andy Hazelet (Element’s Youth Pastor) spoke on the rich young ruler that asked Jesus how he could inherit the kingdom of Heaven and compared him to the Apostle Matthew. Jesus told the young ruler to sell everything, give it to the poor and follow him. The young ruler went away sad, because he didn’t want to give up all he had. Matthew on the other hand left everything the minute Jesus called him.

So I started thinking about it…What do I have that Jesus would want me to give up to follow Him? I really don’t have much. I know I would give up any of my personal possessions for him, it’s just stuff, it doesn’t mean anything. I have my sons, but I would hope that God wouldn't ask me to give them up. I think he has awesome things in store for them and I am trying to guide them down the path that He is directing me to. So what is there…nothing! Then it just popped in my head…or God put it there (I lean more towards the latter, especially lately).
The one thing that has ALWAYS been very important to me is having someone in my life (my wife, namely). Since I was 18 years old, I have had my wife there to love me, to be there with and for me and for me to love. I loved being married, but not just married, married to her. And I loved having someone to share my life with. Since she left, that has been my biggest struggle…Not having her. Not having anyone really. She left a huge void. Honestly, I could very easily find someone to try and fill that void, but it wouldn’t be the same. I started believing that as soon as my divorce was final I needed to get “back on the horse” and get in the dating scene so I could find someone to be with.

It wasn’t about replacing my wife, I know I could never replace what we shared when things were good, but it was about having someone. Then God asked, “Would you give up being with someone, to be with me?” Immediately I was scared of that question, I didn’t even want to acknowledge He had asked. But He did, and I’ve learned ignoring Him doesn’t work AT ALL!
The thing is that I’m not afraid of being alone, but I am afraid of not having someone to share life with (if that makes sense). I’ve thought on it a lot since He asked. God wasn’t necessarily asking me to actually give up on ever having a woman that loves me in my life. I think he was asking me to focus on my relationship with Him before even thinking about starting another intimate relationship with a woman. I’ve realized that I we all need to realize that before we can find comfort in another person (or provide comfort for that matter), we need to understand that God wants us to share our lives with him, before anyone else. Kind of like the tithe thing, He wants the first of us (really in that regard it amounts to ALL of us – not just 10% of us, but the point is he wants us to give us to him first). If we are willing to enter that relationship with Him, HE will cultivate it into something more beautiful then we can even imagine.

I’m not taking responsibility for my wife leaving, but I know that I failed my family in the area of spiritual leadership. I have NEVER had an intimate relationship with Jesus. I know I never entered in and let him work on Him and I. I know now, had I actually focused on being with God and letting Him build that intimacy between Him and I, my spousal relationship would have been on the same intimacy level. I think that intimacy would have resulted in a stronger relationship and equated to her not leaving…I believe that wholeheartedly, but the devil won that round.

I know that I have been thinking so much on what my next earthly relationship would look like and how things would be different, I began to lose focus on the new relationship I just entered. God was telling me to focus on building our relationship before even thinking of any other relationship. In the end my right, deep and intimate relationship with Jesus will only serve to strengthen ALL my earthly relationships, from my friendships to my possible future spouse. Besides the fact, this new God ordained passion I have in my heart demands my FULL attention on God. I want to learn as much as possible about God’s kingdom, Jesus’ life and desire for mine, all of it. I know God has work for me to do. 1 Corinthians 7:32 says, “I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him.”

I want to learn how to please my Lord and do the work that He has called me to, then when He is ready to give me someone to share my success with, I’ll be ready to nurture and build a strong relationship with her through Him. So would I give up being with someone for the rest of my life to be with Jesus? I don’t know how to answer that. But I do know that I want a relationship with Jesus, so deeply rooted in faith and love, that nothing can shake it and nothing can destroy it. In order for that to happen, there is one relationship I will focus on for now, mine and Jesus’.

Giving it up for Him,
Bruce