Tuesday Talks (CALLED Session 3 & 4)

Last week was kind of a rough/full week.  I started writing the Tuesday Talk for Called Session 3, but before I knew it... it was Tuesday again.  So last week we talked about Submission.  The lesson was 100% based on a blog I wrote on the same subject as part of the series "The 40 Year Old."  HERE is the link to that blog.  (Consider this last Tuesday's Talk).

Before I get into this weeks Tuesday Talk, I need to confess.  I didn't write this.  I tweaked it a little, but it's mainly the same lesson that Sean Brink (Leads theSHIFT) taught during Every Guy's Orders (EGO).  As I tried to figure out what we would talk about in Called, I couldn't escape the fact that we're getting ready to start a new series at Element Church directed towards men, aptly named The Man Series, and this was the perfect time to talk about the way we talk.  Because, let's face it, we can sit in church on Sunday and listen to a sermon about being salt and light, Jesus' ambassador and acting like God's Children, but that sermon is proven in the way we act the rest of the week, around others that don't know Jesus.  So here's this week's Tuesday Talk...

THE POWER OF THE TONGUE

One of the most important things we need to know that what we say has the power to tear people down and has the power to build them up.  The way we talk to, about, and around others is fully determined by how active our relationship is with Jesus and whether or not we are submitted to Him.

James 3:9-11 says, "With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?"

Basically, some of us sit in church on Sunday and belt out every lyric of the worship song, then come Monday hurl every obscenity we can think of at "our" team for not completing a pass during the game.  A lot of guys need to not open our mouths until we learn how to use them. We often fail to realize or ignore that what we say effects people because our tongue is a mighty thing.

James 3:3-8 explains that strength.  It says, "When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships, as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison."

With our mouth, we tell crude jokes, sexual innuendos, cursing, and swearing.  It's not okay and shouldn't be a part of us. As I mentioned, we (Element Church) are getting ready to start a series where potentially lots of guys will be coming. THIS IS WHERE WE BECOME THE EXAMPLE! This is where we shine as lights, flavor as salt, be Jesus’ ambassadors and act as God’s own Children.

Here's what the bible says about what not to say:

Ephesians 5:4
Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.

James 5:12
Above all, my brothers, do not swear—not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. Let your "Yes" be yes, and your "No," no, or you will be condemned.

Psalms 34:13
Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies. 

Most of us know what not to say, so what then should we say?  Here's what should pour from our mouths.

1. Words of encouragement
Hebrews 3:13
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.
Titus 2:6
Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled.

2.Words of truth
1 Peter 4: 11
If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God.

3.Words of praise
Psalm 35:28
My tongue will speak of your righteousness and of your praises all day long.
Psalm 66:17
I cried out to him with my mouth; his praise was on my tongue.

I can't close this without speaking to husbands.  If you're married or have kids, this is where leadership starts for you.  What you say to your family matters.


To your wife - She needs to hear that she is lovely.  That she is brilliant and desirable and that your eyes are for her and her alone.  Affirm her and reassure her. I heard a pastor say once that it is your job to prepare her to hand her to Jesus one day.
To your sons - He needs to know that they are good enough.  You need to tell them they can do all things through Christ.
To your daughters - She needs to know that she is a jewel in her King's crown. That she is worthy of pursuit.

Read:
James 3:1-12

Prayer:
- Pray for The Man Series and Element's 4th Service starting on October 2nd

Put into Practice:
Pay attention to what you say.  Make it a point, at least once a day, to speak a word of encouragement, a word of truth and a word of praise.

The Four Letter Word (The 40 Year Old...Pt. 3)

Ok, here's Part 3 to the whole men being men series.  (Here's PART 1 & PART 2)  

There is one word that we must not utter.  This word will bring a man to his knees, or more accurately, make him stand tall, chest puffed, chin out determined not to "give."  It's a word that brings to mind horrible thoughts of giving in, giving up, and weakness.  The very thought of this word causes "real" men to pull up their pants, tighten there boots and stand firmly in opposition! What is this ever so foul four letter word I speak of?  It's: submit!

For far too long guys have held firmly to the idea that a wife should submit to their husbands, never once even offering to lift a finger to serve their spouse.  Let me first clarify this point.  While the bible does direct wives to submit to their husbands, submission does NOT mean subservience.  Ephesians 5:22 tells women to submit to their husbands as they do to the Lord, but does not tell them they are slaves to their husbands.  (Just as a point of interest, EVERYONE that follows Christ is a slave to Christ - I'll explain in a second - and Ephesians 5:21 - just one verse prior - says to submit to one another, blatantly telling HUSBANDS to submit to their wives!)

Here's the difference between submission and subservience: one is voluntary.  Dictionary.com defines each as:

To submit is - to give over or yield to the power or authority of another (voluntary)

To be subservient is - slavish: abjectly (with great shame, desperately) submissive; characteristic of a slave or servant (not voluntary)

I think where we begin to associate submission with weakness is in our view of slavery.  Obviously slavery in and of itself is wrong.  But the way that we've come to understand slavery is fully based on the abduction and bringing over of Africans to America and forcing them into horrible conditions.  This understanding is far different than that of the Hebrew culture's understanding of slavery.  Pastor Matt Chandler (Lead Pastor of The Village Church in Dallas, TX) did a sermon in Aug 2010 on this subject.  He does a far better job breaking this down (you can listen HERE), but I'll summarize as best I can.

Our understanding of slavery is this dark, vile forced way of life that involved forced labor, abuse, beating, rape and murder, in which one race forcefully subjects another to their will, desires and needs.  However, the Hebrew culture slaves were often times Hebrews who voluntarily sold themselves, often times because of a debt they owed, into slavery as a means to receive a better life & to become educated.  Many times this would result in there being no noticeable distinction between slaves and freemen of wealth.  (There is far more to this than what I've written, so it would be beneficial to research yourself or listen to the sermon above.)  The more important part to understand about Hebrew slaves is the Year of Jubilee.  The Year of Jubilee was the freeing of the slaves.  During that time, slaves were allowed to go free and owners were required to provide them with material goods to ensure they left slavery equipped to live.  At that time a slave could choose to voluntarily stay within that household as a slave.  In doing that, they were acknowledging that remaining in their master's house was far better, far safer and preferable to anything else in the world. 

We have that same choice today.  Before Christ we are bound by sin.  We are slaves to the world and can do nothing else but live controlled by our sinful nature.  But, in Christ we are freed from that.  But here's the rub...Romans 6:22 says, "But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life."  So we trade being a slave to sin for being a slave to Christ?  Yes.  It has to do with choice.  God does not force Himself on anyone, but when we CHOOSE Christ we are acknowledging that remaining in His house is far better, far safer and far more preferable to anything the world has to offer.  Ok, so practical submission...what does it look like?

The first act of submission must be to God.  I re-posted a blog by Pastor Jeff Maness (Lead Pastor of Element Church in Cheyenne, WY) about reverence for God, to which I added some comments about submission to God (you can read it HERE).  So what does submission to God look like?

The bible says, “Submit yourselves, then, to God.” James 4:7  This is the surrendering of your control of your life to the control of God in your life.  For some that means letting God remove stuff from it, for others that means letting God add stuff to it.  Submission to God should cause an inward change that reveals outward fruit.  In other words, what God changes and does in your heart should be visible to those around you.

I also think that acts of physical submission to God are important to remaining submitted to Him.  Things like kneeling during prayer, dedicated devotional and prayer time and other spiritual disciplines are all ways of submitting to and holding God in reverence.

We are also called to submit to others (in this instance I'm going to primarily address husbands to wives, but we're also called to submit to those in authority over us).  Ephesians 5:21-33 spells out the responsibilities of husbands and wives as they relate to each other.  And let me start by pointing out that v. 21 says, "And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."  Then it goes on to spell out what that means for both wives and husbands individually.  But here is what I would contend...there are more scriptures talking to the husband about his responsibility than there are to the wife.  Realistically how can you ever expect your wife to submit to you if you refuse to serve her.  Ultimately, as a man, submission is YOUR responsibility.  The first step in submitting to your wife is to stop worrying about others and worry about what God expects of YOU. 

For wives submitting to a husband does NOT mean serving them.  That is an aspect of that submission, but it goes both ways.  Submission is allowing him to lead your family and sometimes that means he'll fail.  When that happens, all he wants from you is to know that you still support him and will still follow him.  He needs someone that will stand by him regardless of his successes or failures.  Not a slave, but a willing partner that will yield to his leadership.

Submission doesn't mean that you are weak.  It takes great courage and strength to admit that you can't do everything on your own, then voluntarily yield to the authority and power of Jesus Christ.  You cannot lead your home and expect your wife to submit to you until you first submit to Jesus, then submit to her (and serve her).  Then and only then can you claim manhood and take your rightful place as the head of your home.

Submitting to Him (and soon her),
Bruce

P.S.  Girlfriends are NOT required to submit to you.  Submission comes with commitment.  Just "dating" a girl with no real commitment to pursue anything further does not afford you the right or privilege of her submission.  Being that I am engaged (and will soon be married) there are areas that I have started submitting to and serving my future wife in, but full submission comes after we're married. 

REPOST: God Heard His Prayers Because… (By: Jeff Maness, Lead Pastor, Element Church)

I was reading Pastor Jeff's blog and his post on Dec 1st about prayer (HERE) really got to me.  Lately I've realized that I pray but recently it hasn't felt the same.  Recently it seems so rushed, so hurried.  Almost as if it hasn't been an intentional act of submission or this time of intimate connection surrounded by deep respect for who my God is.  Then I read Pastor Jeff's post and...well God shined His light on it.  In the verse Pastor Jeff mentions (Hebrews 5:7) the word "reverence" is used in relation to how Christ prayed.  

To get this, understand that reverence is defined as honor or respect felt or shown or a gesture of respect.  What God showed me through reading Pastor Jeff's post not only had to do with how my heart was focused in approaching God in prayer, but for me it also revealed how I physically approach God in prayer.  

In the past couple months I've gotten to a point where I have let everyday life high-jack my time with God.  For me prayer time has always been very much about intentionally submitting myself to God, both spiritually and physically.  Not just in the time I gave Him, but in the way that I gave it to Him also.  As an act of reverence I spent all of my prayer time (during morning devotional and prior to bed, then if I felt it necessary and had the opportunity throughout the day) on my knees.  Sometimes I would bow low, but I was ALWAYS on my knees.  It was my "gesture of respect."  But recently I'm so hurried that 5 or 10 minutes sitting in a chair was "good enough."  Realistically, it just doesn't suffice and with God there should NEVER be a "good enough."  

Here's the original post:

On Sunday, I was doing my normal quiet time with God before heading to church and I read a verse that I saw for the first time, or at least saw it in a new light.  I’m in Hebrews right now, which by the way is an INCREDIBLE book.  So rich and deep.  Anyway, I came across Hebrews 5:7 which says this “⁷While Jesus was here on earth, he offered prayers and pleadings, with a loud cry and tears, to the one who could rescue him from death. And God heard his prayers because of his deep reverence for God.”

Now think about it.  Theologically, Jesus WAS God.  God incarnate.  God in the flesh.  THE God man.  So you might think that the verse should read “And God heard his prayers because HE WAS GOD”.  But NO!  It says God heard them, because of his “deep reverence for God.”  (We won’t get into the lengthy and unending discussion of “If He was God then why did he need to pray, and was he praying to Himself?”)  It just made me think.  If Jesus’ prayer was heard because of His deep reverence for God…what does that say about me?

I think sometimes when I pray I have a deep regret…or a desperate situation…or adeliberate request…or a demanding requirement…and there isn’t anything bad necessarily with any of those things.  The problem is, I often feel like God will hear me because I have the deep regret.  Or because my situation is desperate or my request is deliberate or I’m facing a requirement that’s demanding.  And I’m not saying that God doesn’t hear us, it just struck me that JESUS was heard because of His DEEP REVERENCE for God, not for ANY of those other things.  Not because of his pleadings, loud cries or tears…but His reverence.

I don’t know about you, but I want to be the kind of prayer that comes to God out of deep reverence for WHO He is, not WHAT He can give me.  I get the feeling from Hebrews 5:7 that that is why Jesus went to God in prayer.  And because of that, God heard Him.

Learning,

Jeff

Good stuff.  God deserves our physical acts of respect, submission and praise AS MUCH AS (I'd say if not more than) our verbal ones.

Back on my knees,

Bruce