REPOST: Hurt People, Hurt People. Loved People, Love People. (HPHP/LPLP - Part 5)

Here is the final blog in the 5 Part Series. The first 4 can be seen here (Pt. 1, Pt. 2, Pt. 3, & Pt. 4). This is a repost of the original posted on July 8, 2010. I wrote it initially as a stand alone post, but there was so much more to this (hence posts 1 through 4). So this is the precursor & culmination of this series...enjoy.

I was listening to a song by Manafest called "Wanna Know You" and there is a line in the second verse that really got me. It says, "Loved people, love people. Hurt people, hurt people." I recently read a book (for one of my counseling classes) by Dr. Sandra Wilson called, "Hurt People, Hurt People." It was about understanding why people that have been hurt continue to hurt others.

With that and for the last six months God has been really working on me about what it means to love people and ultimately Him. So that line in the song really struck me as something that is important for everyone that claims to follow Christ to understand.

Hurt People, Hurt People

I'm not actually gonna say anything about why or how hurt people, hurt people. I am, however, gonna direct this toward those that have accepted Christ's love (the secret is - and it's actually not a secret - Christ loves us all, all the time...we just need to accept it).

I get SO tired of hearing how Christ's people are "done" with someone because they hurt them while they were "trying to love them." News flash...people that are hurt are not there to love you, it's the other way around.

Here's the thing, in going in to love someone that is hurting, you have to expect some resistance. You have to expect them to be somewhat leery of your intentions, because they were just hurt. People that are hurt or hurting are that way because someone they cared for either left them (whether it be intentionally i.e. divorce/break-up or unintentionally i.e. death), betrayed them or broke their trust some how. So you have to understand that they may not be so readily accepting of what you want to give them.

We are called to love people, to comfort the hurting and even pray for those that persecute us. If you are the recipient of Christ's amazing love, you have a responsibility to give it away to others and you have to understand that in trying to love them, you may get hurt. My friend, Grant Clark, has a saying that goes, "Where there's people, there's poop." The idea being that caring for people can get messy and if you are actually engaged in their lives, you WILL get messy.

On the other side of that coin...

Loved People, Love People

If you are a person that has surrendered your life to God and seeks to follow Christ, this is you. If you are actively engaged in a relationship with Christ, in which He is pouring out His love on you, you will love people. In John 15:12 Jesus says, "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." Jesus was telling us that the way He loved us was an example of how He expected us to love each other. If you are truly the recipient of Christ's love, you WILL love others.

The Bible is very clear on this point. 1 John 4:20-21 says:

If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their Christian brothers and sisters.

So, loved people, love people.

I'll close with this...How badly did we hurt Christ (and still do at times) while He was trying to love us? What if He would have given up on us because He got hurt?

I Will Love Regardless,
Bruce

Loved People, Love People. (HP/HP, LP/LP Part 4)

So here it is…the last installment of Hurt People, Hurt People. Loved People, Love People. Here are parts 1, 2 & 3 (PART 1, PART 2, PART 3). For me, this whole last year has been SO much about what it means to love people. Do I always do it well? Nope, but I realize I don’t and I seek Christ to change that in me. I’m a work in progress…


So in original blog (HERE) I said,


“In John 15:12 Jesus says, ‘My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.’ Jesus was telling us that the way He loved us was an example of how He expected us to love each other. If you are truly the recipient of Christ's love, you WILL love others.”


As I’ve thought about (and I’ve had 4 ½ months since the original post to do so) I found myself asking, How did He love them? What were the things that Jesus did that we could follow after Him in doing; things that proved our love the way He did?


So in John 15:13, Jesus said, “There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends.” I'm fairly certain that what Jesus meant was that the greatest love is displayed in the laying down of one’s life for a friend. The idea being that true love for another means that you would literally do ANYTHING (even die) for that person. The point is that Jesus willingly laid down His life for those he loved (us). If we love Jesus we have to be willing to do the same for Him and by proxy for those He loves (everyone else). For the record, it’s not a foreign idea…thousands of people have laid down their lives for the sake of Christ. So this is what Jesus said about true love. BUT, He didn’t just say it; He followed it up with action.


The fact is you can say whatever you want, but if your actions don’t support it, it’s pointless and meaningless. There are three parts to the events leading up to and after Jesus’ crucifixion that, I think, displays the depth of His love for us and that I think are examples meant for us to follow.


The first were the pre-crucifixion events. The arrest, the poor excuse for what was called a trial and His walk up the hill in which He would pay our penalty. During that entire time Jesus was whipped, punched, slapped, spit on, had His beard torn out and beaten beyond being recognizable as a human. He was utterly humiliated. And He did it for us. At any time He could have ended the torture, after all…He’s God…but He chose not to. Instead He willingly endured humiliation for our sake. With that said, how much humiliation are you willing to endure for Christ? How much will you be humbled for the sake of your Savior? Looking at it deeper, how much will you allow that to translate to those people you say you love? Are you willing to be humiliated for the community that God has placed you in simply because you love them? Christ did and I have to believe that He expects the same from us. After all, where would we be if He’d have said enough?


The second is His willing surrender to the cross. I think I’ve already made that point. Actually, Jesus did. He said, (paraphrasing), “You show the depth of your love for your friends by what you’re willing to do for them and frankly I love you all to the point that I WILL die for you.” Then He did. The greatest display of God’s justice is seen at the cross, but in it we also see the greatest act of love. It’s the willingness of our savior to lay down His life as a ransom for ours simply because He couldn’t bear to be without us.


The last act has to do with His ascension. In John 16:7, Jesus said, “But in fact, it is best for you that I go away, because if I don’t, the Advocate won’t come. If I do go away, then I will send him to you.” Jesus was telling the Disciples that He was leaving them in order that the Holy Spirit could come. Jesus followed this up by explaining why it was necessary for the Holy Spirit to come. He said (v. 8-11), “And when he comes, he will convict the world of its sin, and of God’s righteousness, and of the coming judgment. The world’s sin is that it refuses to believe in me. Righteousness is available because I go to the Father, and you will see me no more.” In essence, Jesus knew that in order for God to do what He need to, in the Disciples and throughout the world, He had to leave. He told them that if He didn’t leave the Holy Spirit wouldn’t come. And because of His love for them (and us) and His deep desire for God’s will for us, He willingly departed from us and ascended into heaven. How does this translate to how we love others?


There are times that in giving to someone else we block the presence of God. I once had a friend tell me (in reference to giving to a person that is obviously taking advantage of your desire to be Christ to them) that there is a threshold in which you are able to give to a person and they are still able to see Christ. But eventually, there comes a point where they no longer see Christ working through you, but rather only see you. It is at that point that it is essential that you step out of the way of God and allow the Holy Spirit to do His work. Sometimes stepping aside for the moment is the best way to love someone. You have to ask yourself, “Do I love them enough to step out of the way and allow God to do what He needs to do in them?” If the answer is “Yes” then move.


But you don’t just leave them. There will come a point that, if you truly love them, you step back into their life…you have to. The Holy Spirit will make it evident when that time is. The point of stepping back into their life is to be community for them. To encourage that person in the work the Holy Spirit has done in them. Jesus even set that before us. In John 16:16 He said, “In a little while you won’t see me anymore. But a little while after that, you will see me again.” Jesus was saying that even though He had to leave, so the Holy Spirit could do His work, a time would come when the Holy Spirit has completed that work and Jesus would return. That’s our example.

Loved people, Love People. It all comes back to the idea that people that are actively receiving the love of Christ just love people. They are compelled to; it’s their nature and character. The bottom line is this, words are meaningless without action. If you love Christ and others, you have to willingly lay down your life for Him/them (that is do WHATEVER you need to do to prove that love), you have to be willing to be humiliated for His/their sake, you have to be willing to step out of the Holy Spirits way to allow Him to work in their lives, all the while looking for that prompting to step back in and encourage them in the work He’s done in them.


In Him, 
Bruce

Dreams...And All That Come With Them!

This post will be a slight departure from my usual writing style & topics. All with good reason of course...writing isn't intended to be stale. Think of this as a literary vacation. The Greece to the written state in which I live, if you will.

I've recently had a few conversations with a friend that broached the subject of the future...the plans of God and the dreams of man.  Obviously I have hopes and dreams for the future, but I also have a heart to be submitted to the plans of God for me (even if they’re contradictory to mine...I should actually say, especially if they are).  But with the recent passing of my friend, Ricky (Let me pause here and take a moment to say that TSgt Ricky Smith was a great friend and an even greater Patriot if ever I met one.  I had the distinct honor of escorting him home to Pennsylvania.  My deepest sympathies are with his wife Calyssa, his parents Rick and Caren, and the rest of his family.  My heart cries for you...Ricky, you will be missed.) I’ve been thinking about just how fleeting life is and what that means to the dreams that dwell in the same places of my heart and mind that hope is cultivated in.

I sometimes wonder if we dream too small or if we too easily dismiss our dreams as unattainable, ridiculous, or irrational.  I’m not sure when it became not acceptable for adults to dream the same way we did as children.  I think back (and I look at my 11 & 13 year old sons) and as a kid I had some (and they do too) amazing dreams.  It’s not that I wanted to do or be everything, but that I totes (heh, totes) believed I could.  It’s that right there that made the difference...I (we) believed I (we) could.  Because I believed I could, I was willing to dream big. Whoa! Dream big!

Sadly, at some point that all changes.  We’re told to be reasonable.  We’re told to dream rationally.  The ability to dream big is conditioned out of us and replaced with acceptance for what the world says we're capable of.  I don't for one second want to give the impression that we can dream big, then have the ability to achieve it.  Some people are able to achieve great success and make it "big" and NEVER give a second thought to God.  But, they also never reach the fullness that God intended for them.  Our humanity comes with a limit to the "fullness" we can experience, a thresh hold if you will.  Christ meets us at that threshold and allows us to cross it, into complete fullness.  <----That's another blog.

When we get to the place where we realize we can still dream big and God can still move us toward those dreams, there are a few things that come connected to those dreams and need to be realized.  Things that if not realized can send us crashing back to rational.

1. Hope
Dreams are built out of hope.  Hope is that thing we can only see with our heart.  It is attached to things unseen and unrealized.  Our logical side would call it silliness for us to hope.  But, here's the rub...dreams also build hope.  When you dream of the future it gives you a hope of what's to come.  The bigger the dream the deeper the hope.  A "dream" that is rational and easily attainable requires little or no hope.  Without hope we begin to lose faith in bigger stuff.  Hope is what our faith is built on, but not hope in the dream.  Hope in the God that can fulfill that dream.

2. Expectancy
With any unfulfilled and longed for notion there is an anticipation of it's coming...an expectancy.  Whether it is known or not as to when the desire will come to fruition, anticipation still hangs low.  Dictionary.com defines expectancy as anticipation and anticipation as hope.  It all returns to the idea that hope is the basis for all of this.  Essentially the idea remains that if we are to dream big, we should hope in God big.  We should be taking our desires and dreams to God in the deepest sense of the word.  When we depend on our own strength and ability to see our dreams through, the results are mediocre compared to when we let God meet our expectations.  Why settle for average when we have amazing available to us?

3. Disappointment
I didn't want this post to be negative, but this next part is a reality.  Sometimes, sadly, our dreams are not only unrealized, sometimes they're shattered.  Although it is amazing to dream big, if we live in a state of delusion in which we cling to the idea that just because we dream it, we can have it.  When the dream is shattered and disappointment comes (because it sometimes will) devastation surely follows.  And because your hope is tied up in the dream itself, there is no comfort.  On the other end of that, if you live in a state of surrender (in which you see the One that can fulfill the dreams and not the dream fulfilled) then you place hope in the one that can comfort you when disappointment comes.  I don't  say this to cause you to dwell on the fact that that your dream may end in disappointment.  I say this to draw you to a realization that although what we dream may not ever be realized, if your hope is correctly place, so to will your openness to be comforted by the One your hope is in.

Dream BIG, hope deeply, expect the amazing and realize that disappointment is not synonymous with devastation.  What was is not the best there is...so dream dreams that make your memories jealous.

Dreaming Big,
Bruce