Tuesday, September 29, 2009

I was Lame!

He made the lame walk
And the dumb talk
He opened blinded eyes to see
That the sun rises on His time
Yet He knows our deepest desperate need
And the world waits
While His heart aches
To realize the dream
I wonder what life would be like
If we let Jesus live through you and me
~ Big Daddy Weave ~

I heard an interview in which Big Daddy Weave lead singer, Mike Weaver said that the song is meant to get us to consider what life would be like if we let Christ completely consume us and our life, instead of just trying to be better for Him. The chorus of the song is intended to get us to understand the awesome power that is our Savior and that we need to realize that same power is available to us, today. When we understand this, wholly surrender to Christ and allow Him to live in and through us, then life is entirely different. There is no other way to get the same result and once you surrender, there is no way to stop or avoid the change that comes.

I get that out of the song, but the other day when I heard it, God gave me something different (coincidentally it was while showering, again). God told me that not only has He done all that healing before, and still does today, but that He did that to me...for me. He said, I was lame, dumb and blind. At first I was like dumb – absolutely, blind – I could see that (no pun intended...ok, maybe a little), but lame – what? Here is what I realized over the last year (with God's assist): For most of my life, spiritually, I was all three of those things.

For a lot of years I was completely dumb to who God is and what a relationship with Him even meant. I had zero understanding (it's still fairly limited, but I continue to look for Him) as to who Christ was and what He actually did for me, without me even deserving it. Now, I know BDW is really talking about the actual miracle of Christ healing the deaf and mute, but it's the same. I was ignorant about Christ, because I couldn't (probably more accurate to say “didn't want to hear”) hear anything that actually held me accountable to what Christ wanted from me. Anytime anyone would say something that would even remotely cause the Holy Spirit to stir conviction in my heart, I ignored it. That caused me to not be able to speak truth. I was deaf and mute.

Because I never accepted direction, I never saw clearly. I was blind to the fact that the life I was leading was one of death. I had a skewed vision of Christianity and an absolutely wrong image of God all together. I was able to keep my blindness firmly intact by holding on to the darkness in the lie that “I was basically a good person” and Jesus loved me too much to send me to Hell. That sad and warped bit of logic caused my lameness. Because I was blind, staggering through a life of unbelievable darkness, I couldn't walk down the right path. Sometimes not only did I not walk down the right path, I just didn't walk. I sat around in a my misery, too lame and crippled by sin to even try to get up and walk.

It is a sad state of affairs when you finally realize just how dumb, blind and lame you are. The possibility of recovery seems hopeless at best. But, like BDW says in their song, “That it's when I'm at my weakest, I can clearly see.” Just over a year ago I was at my weakest and God showed me this broken, pitiful, sad excuse for what I assumed was a man. But He didn't leave it there, He also showed me this guy that I didn't know. This guy was filled with joy, peace, was in a relationship so perfect and personal there was nothing to compare it to and best of all, he was healed. He wasn't dumb – he could hear the truth, he wasn't blind – he could see Christ for the love and perfection he is, and he was on a path that led to life.That guy was the me I didn't know yet, but I wanted to. Really, God didn't give me some prophetic vision of what life would be like, but He gave me a glimpse and over the last year He has revealed more and more. But I can look back and see it now.

I think that whether you're currently saved or not, the words in that chorus are important to understand. We need to realize that the power from the same hand that formed the universe and actually did all those miracles is available to us today. God wants to pour out that power into and through us. When we “get” that, our lives change. Life becomes different, it has to. We also need to realize that while He heals our actual physical ailments such as being blind, lame or deaf and mute (I believe He absolutely does today), He also heals us from being spiritually blind, lame and dumb. That healing is just as amazing and miraculous.