So I spent days praying on it, meditating on what His word says and really struggling with answering that question. Then a few days ago, as is usual for God, He answered the question He asked, for me. Turns out it was rhetorical and He already knew the answer. For the record, this is always the case. God doesn't ask us questions because He doesn't know; He asks to get us to seek the answer through seeking Him and to draw us out into the open. (That last part is compliments of Thomas, who by the way recently joined the real world of blogging - check out his blog HERE. He still does myspace, but this is a huge step.)
The specific answer to my part of the issue is inconsequential, but the bigger answer was revelational (I know not a real word), for me anyway. The words that God kept pushing me to reconsider are found in Psalm 37. In Psalm 37:4 David says:
"Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart's desires."
I always thought that meant if I found satisfaction in God, He would give me what I wanted. I was kind of a lot, way off. What God revealed is this: When I get to a point where EVERY desire I have, no matter what it is, is consumed with God and fulfilled in Him, then He will give me the desires He has in His heart for me, to me and those will be the desires of my heart. Then and only then will He fulfill the desires of my heart. I know it sounds a little confusing and I tried to make it not, but that's what He said to me and it really does make sense if you read it 187 times.
The thing is this, we look at the desires in our heart and they look perfect to us. They look like gold and diamonds, but all the while they're pyrite and glass. They look like the real thing and we can talk ourselves into believing they are, but they're actually worthless. God looks at our desires and longs to replace them with something real, something perfect. It may not always be the material things you want, that new car or home, but what He does give is so fulfilling, none of that other stuff matters. In his book, The Pursuit of God, A.W. Tozer says it so simply. He says, "The man who has God for his treasure has all things in one." For the man that has his desires given to and consumed by God, he already has EVERYTHING.