Where From Here?

As I write this I am bombarded with thoughts of the countless number of “I knew it” comments I’m sure to receive. But “know” this, you didn’t know. I didn’t even know what the future looked like, only God did and being that I desire to be obedient to Him, I was always open to ANYTHING and ANYWHERE HE moved me.

With that said I know that many have spent the last few years hearing me say that I felt like God was leading me to separate from the military at 17 years and forgo the guarantee of a forever retirement check and medical insurance. I’m not recanting that. Over the last few years I felt lead to that and I believe that God would have absolutely honored that decision and provided for me had I done so. Sometimes I think God asks us if we are willing to do certain things without expecting us to (the whole Abraham and Isaac story). Maybe He asks as a test; maybe He asks just to get us thinking like Him. Regardless, I’ve prayed, fasted and cried out to God for confirmation to stay in the military or go and He just didn’t confirm either way. Sometimes I think God gives multiple ways, all of which glorify Him, allows us to make the choice and uses and blesses us with which ever we choose.

So here’s how this thing went down. Over the last few years and up to this point God has confirmed every other major calling in my life with scripture. Here’s the list:

     -   Call to ministry
     -   Call to theSHIFT
     -   Call to inner-city ministry
     -   Call to Element South Campus
     -   Call to my gorgeous & lovely wife, Sarah
     -   Call to Oakland, CA to plant a church (I’ll get into that in a sec)

All confirmed with scripture. I’d put them on here, but they are scattered about in various journals I was writing in at the time. But separating from the military… never confirmed. So where does that put us? For that I need to back up a little. The decision made about the military is largely connected to our call to plant a church in Oakland, CA.

After God confirmed that call in my heart to Oakland, Sarah and I attended a church planter’s assessment in Las Vegas, NV. It was an amazing couple days, we met some truly wonderful people and God connected us with some people that I have no doubt will have a face in our future ministry. Prior to going to that assessment, Sarah and I talked about everything we could think of surrounding us being capable and ready to plant a church in Oakland, CA. Here’s what we discovered:

1. We’re absolutely NOT capable. We know we’re called to it, but it has to be ALL God because if it depends on us, it fails.

2. We’re scared to death. This is not only a big calling, but a dangerous one. God is asking us to take our family to the 4th most dangerous city (in 2009) in America. We don’t fit the demographic and I cannot relate to a lot of the issues faced there, except that we all need Jesus. But it doesn’t matter. God will use us, protect us and sustain us. We trust Him.

3. We’re not ready. There is a difference between being called and being called and ready. God has absolutely placed a burden on my heart of Oakland, CA (ftr… I’ve never been there. EVER.), but there is some preparation that has to take place before we answer that call. We need to spend time allowing God to prepare us as a married couple. We need (and want) Him to season our marriage and build a strong foundation for us. We need to spend time allowing Him to prepare us as a family. Our call is ALL of our call. It isn’t simply my call, but our call as a family. Our children need to be prepared as well.

So we went to Las Vegas knowing this and God used Vegas to confirm all of that. The assessment team didn’t tell us anything God hadn’t already revealed to us. We came back from Vegas sure of our call and sure that we needed time to prepare. With that said, we know that we are at LEAST 2 to 3 years from starting any ministry. Once that realization was made, we began talking about what that meant for getting out of the military. We started to discuss the logic of separating in June 2012 and not being ready to plant a church until at least 2014. The question that came up was, “What do we do for the 2 years between?” Do we give up a guaranteed job and look for another job for those two years? Do we stay in the military an additional 10 months to get retirement and then pursue the ministry God has given us a heart for? Realistically the choice to stay in the military is obvious. Knowing that we are at least 3 years from planting a church, why would I give up a steady job for the uncertainty of no job for two years prior to moving to Oakland? The choice to stay in the military all the way to retirement was largely based on how that would affect my family. Because I was unsure about my job in the military and whether it would require me to leave my family for up to 4 days a week I was not certain I would stay. Had my job moved towards me having to do that, I would absolutely separate in June, because I’m not willing to sacrifice my family for anything.

So, here’s where we’re at.

We are staying in the military.  I have some guarantees from my leadership that provides my family and I the security we need, not only financially (or medical insurance), but stability wise too.  We have 3 years 10 months left and then I will retire with 20 years of service (and not a day more… maybe a day or two).  After we retire we’re moving to Oakland, CA (we’ll need a team… hint, hint) to serve the people there.  I have a whole blog on the vision God has given me for Oakland, so that’ll follow in the coming days. 

In the mean time, we will most likely (and I say that because God can do whatever He wants) remain in Cheyenne until we retire. We’ll continue to serve at Element (where ever God and Element need us), and we’ll continue to prepare ourselves and family for what’s to come.

Love to you all.  I look forward to the next few years.

Here,
Bruce

I Just Gotta Say...

This may actually be my shortest post, so hold on to your socks.

I just gotta say that it is amazing what God can do in your life if you let him. To think that throughout my life I have gone through so much and never really trusted in God to make me or the situation better. I really can't say if it was where I was at in life, how bad things got, the environment I was in, the group of people I was around (I could go on), that changed my perspective on God. Maybe it was all of it. The point is, something happened in the way I trusted God. It wasn't all at once, it was slow for sure, but I think I just got tired of trying to do it myself. Maybe it was more than that. Maybe God had been working on me this last 20 years and had me just where I needed to be.

I don't believe that it was part of God's master plan for Dana to leave, but I think whether I acknowledged him at the time or not, every time something happened, God was doing something in my heart. At the end He had finally gotten me to where he needed me to be on Jan 14, 2009 to accept His will for my life. Pastor Steven Furtick (Lead Pastor of Elevation Church in Charlotte, North Carolina) posted a blog that really got me thinking about the growing through trials thing (can read it HERE). Basically, his thought for the day was: "Deep crap=Green grass" or put another way "The more crap we go through, the more we grow". Very eloquently put and probably couldn't be explained any other way.

I have definitely grown over the past 7 months. In that I have gained a new found love in my Lord Jesus Christ, a new and revitalized relationship with my sons, a new purpose for my life and a group of friends and family that I couldn't imagine being without. I am truly humbled and awed by the goodness, grace, greatness and love of our God.

Humbled by His grace,
Bruce

Varsity Fusion – My First Sermon (April 14, 2009)

On April 14, 2009 I was blessed to be able to deliver my first sermon to the youth of Element Church Varsity Fusion (website located on the right panel of this page). Andy Hazlet, Element Youth Pastor (blog HERE) and his wife attended a retreat this last week and he asked if I would talk on Tuesday. I was just as excited as I was nervous.

So, Tuesday night was phenomenal. I felt like there were a lot more kids there than normal (although there may not have been, but it sure looked like it). I also felt like I was able to connect with the students more than I have in the past, which was super cool in its self. As far as the sermon goes, like I said I was super nervous, but I did a lot of praying and although I am a bit critical of how I did, I think I spoke the words that God needed me to.

I shared my testimony about how God called me to ministry in the midst of all the tragedy that my boys and I faced in the last 7 months (can be read HERE and HERE). However it wasn’t just story time. I connected it to the guidance God has given us to move on from our failed plans and get on the road to accomplishing his plan for our lives. I centered the sermon around Philippians 3:13 & 14, which says,

“13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.”

In case you’re interested click on the below main point and you can view the three steps I spoke on:

Main Point: God wants us to move on!

Here's how I put it into perspective at the end:

I truly believe, if I had not gone through all that crap I had in the months leading up to January 14, 2009, I would not have developed the heart, faith, and character God needed me to have on that day. If I didn’t have that heart and faith, I may have missed his calling, his plan on that day. I might have heard it, but most likely I would have continued to dismiss it like I had previously, because it didn’t make sense. Four years ago, if I tried to answer his call, I might have accepted it in my head, but I wouldn’t have been capable of accepting it in my heart. Still doesn’t make complete sense sometimes, but because God has changed my heart, I KNOW its right.

God has something planned for every one of us. No matter what that looks like for you, if you focus on becoming the person Christ is leading you to be, next to the relationship you build with Him, whatever God has for you will be the greatest thing you’ll ever do, no matter what that is.

So plans will fail, but when they do, if you Forget the Past (really let go of it), Look to the future (have faith that God has something better for you) and Press on to the End (persevere through those trials and let God use them to develop your character and heart), then God will change you into the person you never thought you could be, but he always knew you would be.

The sermon wasn't anything huge. It definitely was not a new idea, but I tried to get the point across that nothing is ever completely lost. There is a way to move on and God wants us to. Is it easy? No. Everyone has to go through that grieving process. Sadness, confusion, anger, asking why, all of it. The point is, when you start wondering “Now what?” more than you’re wondering “Why did this happen?” God has the answer to the “Now what?” If you don’t go to God for the answer, you may be able to squash the hurt down. You may be able to move on and pretend it never happened, but you’ll never be whole again. You have to be able to acknowledge it happened, grieve over it and let God heal that wound. He wants to give you something better. All you have to do is accept it.

Forgetting, Looking and Pressing,
Bruce